beauty

Another blessed day - campus is closed (we had a nasty blizzard last night), and I have a 4 day week-end to recover from my cold & catch up on some reading! I have been really taking the time in the past few weeks to spend time with God, and regain some strength I know I have let go of. It's amazing how powerful the Holy Spirit is, and how His presence is completely addicting. I keep going back to my favorite scripture in the Bible - the verse, that I feel - says it all:

Ephesians 3:20-21 " Now glory be to God! By His mighty power within us, he can accomplish infinity - more then we
would ever dare ask or hope."

I know we are all familiar with this verse, and likely have been moved by it before, but I have really allowed it to soak in my spirit this week, and I feel such peace and thankfulness for how God operates in my life. To imagine, a Lord that wants me to accomplish huge things, dreams I have never even contimplated - reach out to hearts that I never think I could.
Now I am a person who loves to dream, and get ahead of myself - I am the woman who constantly double-books because I feel like I can do it all, and see everything all in one day, though I never do. But God wants MORE then that. The key word is MORE. Not because He wants us to run our tails into the ground, and pant and whine while we go through each day, but because He wants us to daily give ourselves to Him - and allow him to move our feet and change our hearts.

This scripture will never get tired to me - as it is encouragement and motivation for me. Being in university is straining - it is something I have walked into with faith, as I still am not sure of Gods plan for my future. I wake up many mornings and think "God, why did you put me into such a hard program... why do I have to pull late-nights reading books and typing essays, I am so sick of it!!!" But, I know that I am not sure where my teaching degree will take me, and getting into my program was a blessing (or a miracle haha) - and because I trust in God and His plan, I will stick it out.

When I first began dating Ry - he had just returned from the Phillipines (sp?). His heart was just aching for the nations, and he could talk for hours about all he wanted to invest into missions and the kingdom. At that time, I was very hesitant, or complasent with Canada, and Ontario - and my cushy home and easy future. Never in a million years had I ever thought I would get into a plane to reach out to deprived and broken families. Not because I was a bad person, just because I thought I had everything planned out. This was a little tryin for Ry and I as we became closer, so I took it to God. I did not pray to change Ry's heart, but to change mine if it was meant to change. And now, I cannot think of something I would rather do. I know why I was accepted into a teaching program, with English as a major. It is to do my part for God's kingdom - possibly to teach children in 3rd World Countries to read and speak English, or to homeschool my own children while we are travelling around the world. Who knows!

Soaking up God's love this week has been incredible. I feel more connected to every other aspect of my life, I feel more affectionate - I feel more passionate then ever. It is the first time in a long time I have really been happy. This verse constantly speaks to me, in many different ways.

I do believe God is making a shift in my life, and as I continue to repent and trust in His direction - I feel more free, I see the beauty in His promise.

Sometimes it takes a huge screw-up to awaken the spirit from a dorment spot, and to break down barriers that may have been there all along, maybe humility is a fruitful thing. I am realizng each day that God is working on my heart, and taking me through a deep healing season - both Ry and I have been able to discuss extremely painful subjects and work them out. This is something we could rarely do without offending the other, but our relationship is maturing, and strengthening as we make God our foundation, and our drive.

I am truly thankful -- and so excited to allow myself to trust in God, as he draws Ry and I closer.